父母与孩子的代购，就是教会里的代购|父母與孩子的代購，就是教會裡的代購|Navigating Faith, Family, and Culture in the Chinese-Canadian Church
*中文版在页面底部 （简体）
Growing up as the son of Chinese immigrants from Hong Kong in the 1990s, I experienced what many Chinese families faced when moving to Canada. My mother, younger sister, and I came to Vancouver, while my father stayed in Hong Kong as an “astronaut father” (太空人) to support us financially. Like many immigrant kids, I struggled with racism in school, watched my mom face prejudice at work, and wrestled with cultural identity.
By the time I had adapted to Canadian culture, I felt caught in-between—too Chinese to fit in fully here, but too Western to belong in Hong Kong. This “in-between” struggle was not just in my personal life, but also in the Chinese church. I saw the same cultural tensions between the 1st generation (Chinese-speaking parents) and the 2nd generation (English-speaking children) playing out in church life.
The Silent Exodus of the 2nd Generation
One of the greatest challenges Chinese-Canadian churches face is what writer Helen Lee called the “Silent Exodus”—the trend of young people leaving their parents’ churches, and sometimes even leaving Christianity altogether. Many of my peers felt that Chinese churches were “irrelevant, culturally stifling, and unequipped” to guide them in faith for life in Canada.
This loss is painful on many levels:
For the church – without the younger generation, there is no future leadership.
For the individuals – many carry hurt, resentment, or disillusionment.
For other churches – those who welcome 2nd-generation believers often don’t understand the cultural baggage they bring.
Why Culture Matters in the Church
It’s tempting to think these are just “age” or “personality” issues, but much of the conflict is cultural. Chinese parents value family, respect for elders, and stability, while their Canadian-raised children value independence, openness, and freedom of expression. Both sides deeply love God, but they often clash because they see the world differently.
Culture shapes how we think about leadership, communication, evangelism, and discipleship. If churches ignore culture, they risk misunderstanding each other. If they only focus on programs or technical fixes, they miss the deeper issues of identity, respect, and spiritual maturity.
A Biblical Framework for Culture
As Christians, we don’t simply accept or reject culture. The Bible teaches us to:
Affirm the good – culture reflects God’s good creation.
Reject the sinful – pride, judgment, and prejudice have no place in Christ’s body.
Redeem what can be used – traditions, language, and values can be transformed for God’s glory.
The goal is not to erase culture, but to disciple both generations so that Christ reshapes their cultural identity. This means the 1st generation needs to grow in cultural awareness of their Canadian-born children, and the 2nd generation needs to understand the cultural sacrifices of their parents.
Moving Forward Together
For the Chinese church in Canada to thrive, both generations must:
Listen with humility – cultural differences are not always sins, but opportunities to grow.
Respect each other’s identity – older Chinese believers need to see that Westernized values are not automatically rebellion; younger believers need to appreciate their parents’ sacrifices.
Keep Scripture central – culture is important, but God’s Word is the final authority guiding forgiveness, unity, and discipleship.
As someone who once struggled with identity but have served as a pastor in a Chinese-Canadian church, I believe God can turn bicultural “burdens” into blessings. When both generations seek Christ above culture, the Chinese church can become a powerful witness—not only to Chinese immigrants, but to the wider Canadian society.
我是上世纪90年代随母亲和妹妹从香港移民到温哥华的华人移民之子。那时候，我的父亲留在香港做生意，成了所谓的“太空人”来养家。像许多移民孩子一样，我在学校里经历过种族歧视，也亲眼看到妈妈在工作中因为身份和口音常常遭遇偏见。
当我慢慢适应加拿大文化后，却发现自己处在“两边不靠”的境地——在加拿大觉得自己太“Chinese”，在香港又觉得自己太西化。这种夹在中间的挣扎，不仅在我的个人生活中存在，在华人教会里也同样明显。我看到第一代（讲中文的父母）和第二代（在加拿大长大、说英文的孩子）之间的文化张力，在教会生活中不断出现。
第二代信徒的“无声出走”
华人教会面临的最大挑战之一，就是作者李海伦（Helen Lee）所说的“无声出走”（Silent Exodus）——许多年轻人离开父母的教会，有些甚至连基督信仰都放弃了。我的很多同龄人觉得华人教会“无关紧要、文化压抑、也没有装备他们面对加拿大的生活”。
这种流失带来多方面的痛苦：
对教会来说 – 年轻一代不在，就没有未来的领导层。
对个人来说 – 许多人带着伤害、怨恨或失望离开。
对其他教会来说 – 即使他们接纳了这些年轻信徒，也往往不明白他们背后的文化伤痕。
为什么文化在教会里很重要
我们容易把这些冲突当作“代沟”或者“性格差异”，但其实很大程度上是文化差异。第一代华人父母看重家庭、尊重长辈、追求稳定，而在加拿大长大的孩子们更强调独立、开放、自由表达。两代人都真心爱主，却常常因为看待世界的方式不同而产生摩擦。
文化影响我们对领导方式、沟通方式、传福音和门徒训练的理解。如果忽视文化，教会就会互相误解；如果只靠项目和技术层面的改动，就解决不了身份、尊重和灵命成熟这些更深的问题。
圣经中的文化观
作为基督徒，我们对文化的态度不是简单地全盘接受或全盘拒绝。圣经教导我们要：
肯定美好的部分 – 文化中有上帝创造的美善。
拒绝有罪的部分 – 骄傲、论断和偏见不属于基督的身体。
善用可被使用的部分 – 传统、语言和价值观都可以被基督转化来荣耀上帝。
目标不是抹去文化，而是让两代人都在基督里被更新，让祂来塑造我们的文化身份。这意味着第一代要更多理解在加拿大长大的孩子，而第二代也要学会体会父母的牺牲。
一起往前走
如果华人教会要在加拿大健康成长，两代人必须学会：
谦卑地倾听 – 文化差异并不总是罪，而是成长的机会。
彼此尊重身份 – 年长一代要明白“西化”的价值观不等于叛逆；年轻一代要懂得感激父母的牺牲。
以圣经为中心 – 文化固然重要，但上帝的话语才是最终的权威，引导我们去饶恕、合一和跟随主。
作为一个曾经饱受身份挣扎、如今在华人教会牧会的人，我深信上帝能把这种“双文化”的“负担”转化为祝福。当两代人都把基督放在文化之上，加拿大的华人教会就能成为有力的见证——不仅祝福华人移民，也祝福更广泛的加拿大社会。